How's my scripting?

Part of a Green Lantern fanfiction script I'm working on.

PART ONE: YELLOW LANTERN ALLEN SCOTT

PAGE ONE

PANEL ONE
This panel takes up all the page, save for the bleed. There's a yellow border around it. The right half is "reserved" for some panels-in-panel action.

The left side of the panel is primarily taken up by Yellow Lantern Alan Scott. It's a full-body shot, meant to show off his unique costume. (This is meant to immediately show the difference between characters visually. There will be more of kinds of "introductory panels" for each of the six primary characters.) It may be at a slight angle, possibly an action pose, as he had just entered the main room of his version of the JSA's headquarters. There might be other members in sight (even just partially, given the limited room on either half of the page), but he's there to see Mister Terrible, who's definitely not in this particular panel.

YL SCOTT: You called?

PANEL TWO
This is one of the smaller panels on the right side of Panel One. It is the uppermost panel in a column of three same-sized panels, each space proportionally between each other and the edge of the bleed (vertically, that is). Yellow border.

Mister Terrible has his back to a large computer display, his arms outstretched with amiability. We can only see about the upper half or so of his torso-- not being outright important, he doesn't get the "look at my cool costume" treatment like the main six do.

TERRIBLE: I did. First, to give you an appropriate "job well done."
YL SCOTT (off-panel): It was a job.
TERRIBLE: I was getting to that.

PANEL THREE
The second in the column of panels inside Panel One; yellow bordered.

Mister Terrible is sitting at the computer, YL Scott now visibly standing behind him.
What can be seen of the computer screen or screens would be things like images of universes other than their own (though not universes we're all that familiar with, so no Earth-1 or anything too common), perhaps schematics of a device and portions of the formulas that operate at the device's core.

TERRIBLE: While you were dealing with Vand le Savant, one of my Terribyte crawlers was able to infiltrate the base and found this.
YL SCOTT: "This" being?


PANEL FOUR
The third in the column of panels inside Panel One; yellow bordered.

The character positioning will be similar to the last panel, with the perspective shifted so that we can get a better view of the screen(s). The dominant image on the screen is of the schematics of that device. The schematics might be diagrammed, with lines linking different parts of the device to explanations of what they are and what they do; that may be Mister Terrible's computer attempting to divine the purpose of the device by running a simulation of its operation.


TERRIBLE: An interdimensional transporter.
TERRIBLE: Technically, a personal teleporter, augmented for larger capacity and interdimensional travel.
YL SCOTT: And we found the schematics?

PAGE TWO

PANEL ONE
This panel takes up approximately the top third of the page, each panel being of equal dimensions and allowing for space between each of them. Yellow-bordered.

Mister Terrible has left his chair, now standing a few short feet away at a table-like console. YL Scott watches from place behind the chair. This might be a good time to show a wider array of screens, some of which might be keyed onto JSA members in other universes. In theory, the computers connection to the device could allow it to access computers or satellites from other worlds. When the device comes out, the computer would lose that ability.

TERRIBLE: Not exactly. These schematics were drawn from the computer's scans of the actual device.
TERRIBLE: By hooking it up to the computer, I was able to get a glimpse of alternate versions of Earth.
YL SCOTT: Sounds like we got lucky. There's a lot of havoc to be had with a device like that.


PANEL TWO
Equal in size with those above and below it; yellow bordered.

A close of Mister Terrible's hand, or maybe just his index finger as it presses into a button on the console he's standing before.

SFX: Click!

PANEL THREE
Equal in size with those above and below it; yellow bordered.

Mister Terrible is still standing in front of the console, but YL Scott has now crept up to the side of the thing. Between them, the ascending compartment within the console can be seen rising up.

YL SCOTT: Do we have any major plans for it thus far?


PAGE THREE

PANEL ONE
This panel and Panel Two take up the top third of the page, each being half the width of the page. Yellow bordered.

A close-up on the compartment, which has finished rising and retracted its shell to reveal its interior: the device is a gauntlet, held in the air by a visible ray of light. The color doesn't specifically matter itself, but might want to reflect Mister Terrible's coloration in some way. (That is, his costume, not his skintone.)

TERRIBLE (off-panel): We've not even finished the analysis phase, and from the looks of it, it's dependant on an external power source.

Panel TWO
The same size as Panel One; yellow bordered.

Mister Terrible and YL Scott are still standing at the console, although the gauntlet-like device is now in Terrible's hands and the console is mid-descent.

TERRIBLE: Catman said something about starting an interdimensional gladiator arena... Powergirl pondered finding a Krypton to conquer and rule over... But we've got to make sure the thing even works first.

PANEL THREE
This panel takes up the middle third of the page; yellow bordered.

The console between Terrible and YL Scott has returned to its normal state. Terrible is holding the gauntlet in a different position; both are looking at it intently.

Terrible: No one wants their molecules scattered in the multiverse.
YL SCOTT: May I?

PANEL FOUR
To be simple, this panel is the same size as Panels One and Two, bottom left with a yellow flippin' border.

Although still in Terrible's hands, YL Scott has wrapped a yellow force field around the gauntlet.

YL SCOTT: I totally agree. That's a great idea.
TERRIBLE: Idea?

PANEL FIVE
Same as Panel Four, bottom right and yellow border.

The force field is holding up the gauntlet between Terrible and YL Scott. YL Scott has his head cocked to the side, probably looking at buttons or screens. Terrible, confused at what seem to be YL Scott's non-sequitors, is giving him a puzzled, cautious look.

YL SCOTT: That sounds highly likely. Should we proceed with that course of action?
TERRIBLE: Alan, are you okay?

PAGE FOUR

PANEL ONE
This might be a little confusing but here goes: this page, like Page One, is designed with some panels-in-panel action. There will be three panels inside this one, centered and towards the top. There will be two in one row, one in the second; the top two will equal the length of the bottom, which is about fifty percent of the page's length. Although this is the primary panel on the page, it is the last in the reading order of it, so it might read as though it were out of place. Same yellow border, of course.

YL Scott is in the center of the bottom portion of this panel, and should be the only person seen. Energy is swirling around him, as though his yellow light of fear is combining with temporal and multiversal energies as it sends him into another dimension.

YL SCOTT: I can spread a little FEAR through the Multiverse!

PANEL TWO
This panel is approximately a quarter of the length of the page, just to the right of the center line, and roughly a little less than a quarter of the height of the page. Yellow bordered.

This panel is a close-up of the gauntlet, still surrounded by the YL Scott's force field but now opened or unlatched, ready to but placed on someone's arm.

TERRIBLE: Scott, what are you doing?
YL SCOTT: Isn't it obvious?

PANEL THREE
The same size as panel two, although positioned to the right of the center line with a bit of space between them. Yellow bordered.

Another close-up, this time as the YL Scott's forcefield places the gauntlet onto his left arm (which should, if I remember correctly, be the same side his ring is equipped on).

PANEL FOUR
This panel is just below Panels Two and Three, inside Panel One, and is the same height as the above two and the length of them both combined. Yellow bordered.

YL Scott has backed away from Terrible a bit, who's reaching out to him. YL Scott is looking at the gauntlet and pressing buttons with his right hand.

TERRIBLE: Scott, no!
YL SCOTT: I figure, if I can put a little FEAR in this machine...

END PART ONE